So, hello. I know. It’s been awhile.
There’s a reason for that, which I’ll get to in this 500-word-or-less post. (A new goal.)
Since the beginning of 2019, life’s been hard for a person I love.
Mom.
She fell in early February. Hurt herself terribly. A collision with her apartment floor gave her a broken nose, and on her right hip, a hematoma, cantaloupe-sized.
At the end of February, she had cataract surgery.
She’d just healed.
Then, April happened. I have to write it like it felt for all of us.
A move, a fall, a middle-of-the-night call, an MRI, a hip surgery, a Transitional Care Unit (TCU), a fall at TCU, a middle-of-the-night TCU call, back to ER, back into hospital, a fall at the hospital, a middle-of-the-night hospital call, recovery, then back to TCU, another fall, another ER trip, another hip surgery – this time with a partial hip replacement, and a move to a different TCU, where she is currently healing.
My mother, Carol Trewartha, is a trooper, trying so hard to recover from a tremendous amount of injuries and change. I”m exhausted from reading the last paragraph and living in a crisis situation. I cannot imagine the road she’s walked so far in 2019.
As Mother’s Day approaches, I think of her steady hand all these years. The times I’ve come to her, asking for her advice. Mom always had advice at the ready – sometimes unasked-for, always in love. I wish I had her kind of answers for her now.
As I and my brothers and our spouses consider Mom’s next move, we’re thinking a lot of things. What would Dad do? (He passed away 18 years ago.) What’s the best care we can provide for our Mom? You’d think it’d be easy. You’d think all you need apply is common sense. There’s an oxymoron. Not so easy, these days.
But there is something “common” in my family. And that is, we’ll go to the ends of the earth to help one another.
Because we were taught by an only child who grew up to be a R.N. and loved working in “Peds” (Pediatrics), who loved children, always longed for a sibling (she had a sister seven years her senior but she was stillborn) and loved us – and still loves us and all her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
And so, we’ll give our all to find a solution for Mom – a woman who gave her all. Payback time. For her.
For those reading,
May you be encouraged by your good work.
May you trust your common sense.
May you know the mothering journey is truly a privilege, a beautiful thing and yes, even if we didn’t always say it, you are appreciated.
May you pause, let go, and forgive.
May you know that sleep deprivation is a sign you’re a great mom.
May you remember a great mother. And tell her so.
May you remember a grandmother. And remind her why you think she was a great one.
May you know your children really do love you and someday, they will express it.
May you sense just how much the world has always needed women.
And may you know that God loves you.
Happy Mother’s Day!
About Julie Saffrin
Julie Saffrin is the author of numerous published articles and essays. Her latest book, BlessBack: Thank Those Who Shaped Your Life, explores the power of gratitude and offers 120 creative ways to journey toward positive, lasting change.
Gail Helgeson says
Lovely tribute, Julie. I am thinking and praying for you and your momma.
Julie Saffrin says
Thank you so much, Gail. You are a great mom! Thanks for a fun day last weekend. Double-treat hearing Amy speak and getting to spend a whole day with you!
joydekok says
What a beautiful post during a difficult time, Julie! Saying a prayer for your mom and all of you as you put your hearts and minds together to care for and honor her!
Julie Saffrin says
Joy, you were an incredible caregiver to both your parents and their difficult journeys. Many-a-time you have come to mind this past month as I’ve sat with Mom, knowing great women like you have gone before me, and that has given me strength. My thoughts and prayers are going out before you this very day as you face your appointment. Praying for healing!
Ann Seymour says
So sorry to hear about Carol’s recent hard journey. I know it so well, as my mom suffered through so much the last ten years of her life. Be grateful that you are so near, and she is sooooo fortunate that you are YOU, so faithful and loving. She raised a wonderful daughter in you! This was my first year without my mom and I’ve had time to reflect on the passage of time….so quick. We are here such a short time. Give my best to that fun loving mom of yours…when I think of her, I think about how upbeat and positive she always is!
xxoo Ann
Julie Saffrin says
Thank you so much, Ann, for your words and sharing memories of Mom. Mom, our family, and great therapists, are working hard get Mom “back to being Mom,” physically and cognitively. You are a great Mom and were a great daughter to your Mom, even moving to be with her for a time. That’s caring. Need to see you soon. Hope you are loving your new house!